May 08, 2015

Goals and Aspirations - #worstbloggerever

Hello my beautiful readers,

Yes. I know. You don't need to tell me. I'm hands down the worst blogger in the history of bloggers. In my last post I talked about how I was going to get back into blogging but oh boy, what a fail that was. I've lost a lot of motivation and my passion for writing has gone out the window. It's odd really, because writing was once something I could not stop doing. I'd write for hours on end if I could. I guess we all go through moments like this in life. I randomly got a sudden urge to write something. I feel like these moments come and go and I'm hoping it stays for a while so I can keep writing. I really need some motivation in my life right now, as I've kind of been feeling really down lately. 

I want to share my top five goals and aspirations in life, and hopefully open up a bit, which is something I don't really do. This post should hopefully start my journey to finding some sort of inner peace with myself. The goals and aspirations I'm going to write about are just a few general things I want to achieve and change in my life. I really want this blog to start reflecting my personal side, and not just the beauty and fashion side. 

Be happy.

This sounds like quite the simple goal for someone to have, but it's not that simple for me. I'm quite content with who I am, and my life right now, but I'm not necessarily happy. I still have so much I want to accomplish and do in my life, but right now I feel like nothing is getting done and that's 100% my own fault. This is causing me to be really down on myself and withdraw from doing things that make me happy. I really want this to change. I want to look in the mirror each morning and genuinely feel happy about myself and the life I'm living. Going through a really rough time a few years ago has definitely shaped who I am and how I see the world. Because of that dark period, I can get quite unhappy at times and become so emotionally exhausted I just space out from the entire world. I want this to stop. I want to feel nothing but happiness and stop being so down on myself sometimes. It's going to take a lot of work, as I can be my own worst enemy but I just want to feel positive about myself and the person I've become.

Travel the world.

This has to be one of my main goals right now. I basically want to take a year off from life and just travel. I love being in a new environment, and experiencing the different vibes other countries have to offer. When I was much younger, my family and I did a tour around Europe for two weeks, and then stayed in Italy for four weeks. Being quite young, I don't remember everything very well, but I know it was one of the best experiences of my life. Reminiscing on those times, just makes me want to buy a plane ticket and just go. Go anywhere. I'd also love to life abroad for a few months, or even a year. Living in another country and having to learn a new way of living excites me. Only downside is I don't have the money for this, and probably won't for a very long time. But it is still up there as my main goal. I am young, and don't want to make the mistake of growing up too fast and settling down into a lifetime job. This is the time where I want to enjoy being free and take in the world around me with a open and young mind. 

Write for a living.

Okay, I bet you're sitting there thinking, "she can't even maintain a silly, little blog. How is she going to write for a living?" 
I honestly believe it's different. Right now, this blog is for nothing but pure entertainment for myself and you guys. In no way have I made this blog to start off my career in writing. I made it as a place for me to come and share my thoughts, feelings and interests. Getting a job in the journalism industry will forever be a top priority in life. I feel as though that will bring back whatever motivation I have lost and push me to continue writing. For now, my blog is just here for me to let a lot of stuff out. 

Becoming a journalist is something I see in my semi-distant future and I still aim for that goal everyday. Right now, I am taking a few steps back to really think about what I want to do exactly, so my career in journalism will be put on hold for a while. All I know is that Yen magazine, I AM COMING FOR YA! 

These last few weeks, I've really taken a step back and thought about just where I want to go with my writing. It going to sound so crazy, but I'd love to write a novel. It's something I never thought I'd hear myself say, but lately it's definitely become of interest to mine. I love reading, and I've always wondered what it would be like if I wrote my own book, or short story, or anything really. In school, english was one of my favourite subjects and the creative writing side of it was something I always managed to put 110% of my time and energy in because I was passionate about it. I want the pieces I write to be out there for the world to see and take in. I imagine hearing, "New York Time's best selling novel by Maria Pavia." and it makes me more and more eager to pursue this. What would I write about? I have absolutely no idea. 

Bucket list.

So remember that bucket list I made a few months ago? Well sadly, it's been very neglected. I wrote that, hoping it would motivate me in going out of my comfort zone and trying new and exciting things. I was so wrong. Hopefully that is all about to change. I want to take my bucket list seriously, and really start doing the things I mentioned. Even if it's just me TRYING to achieve them and failing. I'll at least know that I tried to accomplish something. I'm hoping to cross off at least ten of the things mentioned in my bucket list by the end of the year.

Positive vibes.

This one is a little different from just being happy. I really want to radiate some hella positive vibes from now on. I can be quite the pessimist in life, as I tend to have a very negative view on things. People who can see the positives in everything are people I truly admire and idolise. Sometimes I wish I could just take a deep breath, and think nothing but positive thoughts and feelings, and live a life off of positive vibes. Negative energy is no longer something I want to associate with. My goal is to just be happy and positive and stop letting everything negative get me down. 


I don't know if anyone is still reading this, or actually cares about these kind of posts, but I really want to start uploading content I'M happy with. I know I'll go through times of wanting to upload posts about my outfit of the day, or my favourite beauty products right now. But I also know, like tonight, that I want to get down and deep with what I write and show a side of me that I don't normally put on display. I find that I can show people a lot more about me in the words that I type, rather than the words that I say. Ask me this in person, and I'd probably tell you little to nothing. But tell me to write about it, and I could go on for days.

Well, I'll try my hardest not to be gone for months again and to upload something again very soon. I just want to thank the people who still come back and look at my blog. I've been gone for a while and there is still so much activity coming though which means that I'm guessing people are still interested in what I post? I never expected to ever get noticed this much and it's honestly crazy how much my audience has grown in the last few months.

As always, thank you for reading,
♡ Maria :)


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